The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself, but in so doing, he identifies himself with people--that is, people everywhere, not for the purpose of taking them apart, but simply revealing their true nature.
The paths of glory at least lead to the grave, but the paths of duty may not get you any where.
He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.
You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
A woman's place is in the wrong.
A husband should not insult his wife publicly, at parties. He should insult her in the privacy of the home.
I hate women because they always know where things are.
Early to rise and early to bed Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead