A dollar saved is a quarter earned.
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.
I don't drink; I don't like it - it makes me feel good.
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.
I'm a controversial figure: my friends either dislike me or hate me.
Marriage is a triumph of habit over hate.
I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.
Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you find the real tinsel underneath.