When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'
Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.