The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?
Why isn’t the word “phonetically†spelled with an “f�
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it.
I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.