What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: "Why is it so dark in here?"
A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.
Bishops move diagonally. That's why they often turn up where the kings don't expect them to be.
Sometimes glass glitters more than diamonds because it has more to prove.
Revolutions always come around again. That's why they're called revolutions.
Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant "idiot".
No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled. "Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?" "What?" "Oh, you'd like something simpler?
Sham Harga had run a succesful eatery for many years by always smiling, never extending credit, and realizing that most of his customers wanted meals properly balanced between the four food groups: sugar, starch, grease, and burnt crunchy bits.
If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter.
Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street- cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.