Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
Few things in life are more embarrassing than the necessity of having to inform an old friend that you have just got engaged to his fiancee.
'Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
My illness is dut to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.