As a kid, I knew I wanted to be either a cartoonist or an astronaut. The latter was never much of a possibility, as I don't even like riding in elevators.
I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.
People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.
Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.
Reality continues to ruin my life.