Television is a new medium. It's called a medium because nothing is well-done.
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
[Television is] the triumph of machine over people.