I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home.
There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.
I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.