When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.
Room service? Send up a larger room." [A Night at the Opera]
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while
Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... now you tell me what you know.
The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished.
Humor is reason gone mad.