You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain whether he fell by one kind or another -- the classification is for advantage of the lawyers.
Mad, adj: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
Love, n - A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.