Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.
America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar and use it up in two weeks.
One of my chief regrets during my recent years in the theater is that I couldn't sit in the audience and watch me.
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
Method acting? There are quite a few methods. Mine involves a lot of talent, a glass and some cracked ice.
The good die young - because they see it's no use living if you've got to be good.
Brides aren't happy - they are just triumphant.
A man must properly pay the fiddler. In my case it so happened that a whole symphony orchestra had to be subsidized.
Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.