A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on.
When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it's a wonder there isn't more of it done.
Never get married while you're going to college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.
Of all the unbearable nuisances, the ignoramus that has travelled is the worst.
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set the night before.
The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.
Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.