Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.
An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.