With faith the size of a mustard seed, you can indeed move a mountain, but you can hardly be expected to garnish your sandwich.
I always appear smarter when I dress up in my giant nipple costume. I know this because I'll overhear people say things like, 'At least he's not a complete boob.
My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica?
If I waste all my charity, all I’ll wind up with in the end is the wind. Still, I think I want to be the Dandelion of Love.
The way I wrestle five-year-olds makes me think if I were ever attacked by a pack of midgets, I’d be OK.

I’m glad scrambled eggs don’t have lips, because when I’m grinning over a hearty breakfast, it would really freak me out to see my breakfast grinning back. I’ve eaten a man for less than that.
Love lets us ride on its back as if it were a camel. But you’ve got to water it, or it won’t grow into a healthy rose bush.
I was seen spotted with an older woman and a girl half my height in age. A leopard was also spotted.

Two things in life are certain: uncertainty, and I’m not sure about the second thing.
I know a thing or two about love. Well, maybe just a thing. A big, blurry thing, like Bigfoot.