Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family...
Here's what I think the truth is: We are all addicts of fossil fuels in a state of denial, about to face cold turkey.
A two-pound turkey and a fifty-pound cranberry - that's Thanksgiving dinner at Three-Mile Island.
Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side.