Childhood, n. The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth - two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
Interpreter: One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter's advantage for the other to have said.
Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is. Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.
Every time Europe looks across the Atlantic to see the American eagle, it observes only the rear end of an ostrich.
Phonograph, n. An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.
Lawyer, n. One skilled in the circumvention of the law.
Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
Optimism, n. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
Bride, n. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.