I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!
All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat!?' I'm trying to impress people here, Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.
When you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose; it's how drunk you get.
I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?
There's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer.
Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.