I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed.
After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me, "Maybe life isn't for everyone."
If the Prince of Peace should come to earth, one of the first things he would do would be to put psychiatrists in their place.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
No man is a hero to his wife's psychiatrist.
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'
A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.